Confession: I wrote this blog in in its entirety back in January and failed to publish it because well....life. And in the spirit of not needing to over-work myself I decide I would press publish when I had time. So yikes, here I am 3 months later, but so thankful there's not a score-card on my blog because its just a fun outlet!
I am still in awe and shock that 2016 is already over. What the heck?! It feels like New Years Eve 2015 was just yesterday. I remember it so vividly. Jamey and I came home from the hospital, Rosie wearing her Gap outfit I had picked out months in advance, that was way too big for her. We drove an entire 1.5 miles home from the hospital and it felt like the scariest thing on the planet with such precious cargo on board. I sat in the backseat with the baby to make sure she was breathing on the way home. Ha! Then we get home to a crying babe who seemed like she couldn't be consoled no matter what. And there we were sitting on the couch watching the ball drop with Ryan Seacrest, not wearing a fun little sequins dress with a glass of champagne like I normally would be. Instead I am leaking (TMI), and sore from surgery, and in a robe with a little human I am still trying to figure out. Talk about a wake up call to parenthood!
Much like anything new in our lives it only gets easier with time and routine as you learn to adjust. We adjusted once we figured out a few things with nursing and I finally healed, and our little one became the best sleeper anyone could ask for. Then one day I wake up and I have a one-year-old! What the heck?! Where did the time go?
It has been a heck of a year but I am so grateful for all of it and I can't imagine life before or what I did with my free time, a luxury I no longer possess. Being a mom has been the coolest experience of my life. I was so terrified about becoming a mother because I was so worried I would do all the wrong things or not feel the right feelings or that somehow motherly instincts would skip past me on to the next mom and I would forever be at the hands of google-searching everything. Luckily, God in all his faithfulness didnt "skip me," but he gave me the strength I needed each and every day to be the very best mom I could possibly be.
We threw Rosie a little 1st birthday party back in December that she will inevitably not remember, but it was more of a celebration that we kept this little nugget alive for a whole year and she is thriving! I know too much heart ache from moms who have experienced loss or friends who have not become a mom yet but desperately want to be. It is no doing of my own that I am lucky enough to be a mom to Rosie Pearl this first year of her life. This is not a promise, but rather a sweet gift of God. I want to worship the Giver of good gifts and not the gifts themselves. For this reason I wanted to celebrate the sweet gift of my baby girl! It was sort of a floral-ish theme party sprinkled with roses and rose petals for my Rosie girl.
One side note I have to mention: I have noticed a lot of conversations surrounding simplifying and minimizing and being ok not being a "Pinterest mom," whatever that means. I could not agree more. Keeping life simple, staying in your lane, only saying yes within your limits and capacity is so needed to keep our sanity and priorities straight. (I have actually been practicing the art of saying no this last year and have made some improvements but still have a ways to go.) None of us should create undue pressure on ourselves especially if it involves things we do not enjoy doing, do not line up with our values or mission, or are outside of our gifting.
However, I do want to say that simple over complex, or minimal over superfluous is not always better than the contrary. Some people, or moms, enjoy the process of "tablescaping" or hosting, or DIY-ing crafts. Maybe that is what sabbath looks like for them. Making time for creativity. I am sometimes that mom, when time allows. The same way a run on the trail or a nice long bath is life-giving to some, I have an innate desire to dream, plan and create a curated atmosphere, however little or small, if I am able. Its just how I am wired. So I am always a fan shifting a conversation around a bit because God created everyone uniquely, there is no specific formula, hence my forever mama-mantra is.... "YOU DO YOU GiRLFRIEND!" Maybe whatever you resolved to stop doing or quit because it was sucking the life out of you, is energizing and life-giving to someone else. I love celebrating each person doing what works for them without demeaning the opposite but rather celebrating different strengths. Some people, or more specifically mom's enjoy design, esthetic, and creativity. Some moms thrive on meal planning or organizing, some moms I know do a killer job at homeschooling their kiddos. Each bent is worth celebrating as long as it gives you vitality and enforces the gifts that God has given you. My encouragement to all mamas is to celebrate one another, and never hold ourselves to an unrealistic standard based on an innate tendency to compare. It is already hard enough as it is, without feeling like you "caved to the pressure of Pinterest" simply because you put out some eucalyptus to jazz up a table setting. However, we spend our time and energy should be within our limits, and should bring us joy! Most likely that will look differently for everyone. So cheers to each tired mama out there doing the very best job she possibly can!! For me it was truly a joyous occasion to celebrate the success of our first year of parenthood as much as it was Rosie's 1st Birthday! One year down....a lifetime to go!