I am learning quickly through motherhood that things most likely will never go as planned so prepare to be flexible and dont make anything too precious. Parenting is simply loving and protecting the precious gift of that child and doing whats best for mom and baby.
Plans are my jam. I love to make plans and know plans and make plans for my plans. God know this about me so my entire pregnancy and birth story is ironically refining. My scheduled csection was set for 8am December 29th. This in and of itself was not apart of the plan. I wanted a vaginal birth and been planning accordingly for 8 months when I found out my little stubborn girl was breech. Despite my efforts, and chiropractic appointments, and acupuncture and crazy exercises where I practically hang myself upside down off my couch while my husband holds a lit cigar next to my pinky toe (I’m dead serious - its an ancient chinese method called moxibustion ... google it) only to have her stay breech the rest of my pregnancy. However, I tried to stay positive and did so by counting the benefits of having a csection, namely not having to experience a painful labor, despite knowing I’d have a painful recovery.
The night before my scheduled csection Jamey and I were headed to bed at 10pm to get a good nights rest when we remembered I had to take off my rings for surgery. Until we discovered that they were literally stuck on my swollen sausage fingers. So for an hour we tried to get them off with a combination of soap, olive oil, coconut oil, lotion, floss...you name it we tried it! They wouldnt budge. This was also not a part of the plan. Finally after an hour and a half we gave up and went to bed at 11:30PM resolving that getting 5 and a hlaf hours of sleep is better than none at all. At 1AM my water broke while I was in bed. This was also not a part of the plan. My midwife encouraged me to get a few more hours of rest before coming but I was so anxious and continually leaking (yikes...too much?) so I decided to instead shower and curl my hair. Nothing like a little hair therapy to get you through the contractions you werent supposed to be having. And if you are picturing someone in their bathroom at 2AM hot tools in hands, hairspray in another, hunkered over and breathing heavily through contractions, yes that was me! My midwife eventually had me come in around 4AM. The contractions got stronger and stronger until I got some pain meds but not an epidural so could still feel them pretty intensely. My fingers, if this is even possible, were more swollen than before and my wedding rings eventually had to be soldered off completely by an ER technician. Shortly after that they wheeled me in for my csection. I was so nervous and excited all at the same time. It all happened so fast, all I can remember is my sweet husband whispering prayers and encouragement in my ear as we listened to a worship birth playlist I had made and next thing I know she's here in all her chunky glory!
Looking back I guess God wanted the “planner” in me to lay my plans at the altar of his. Parenting this little one he’s entrusted to me will take a lot more than my silly planning, but rather a deep-rooted trust in her heavenly father who knows whats best for her and whats best for me.