MarriageThe Marriage Retreat
A free worksheet for your yearly marriage retreat.
The worksheet Melissa and I bring to our retreat every year. It walks you through looking back on the past year, dreaming a little about where you’re headed, and putting the things that matter on the calendar. Twenty-nine pages, free.
Is this you?
The year got away from you, again.
Nobody booked the babysitter, so nobody went.
The calendar filled with everything else and the two of you got what was left.
You talked about the kids’ year and the business’s year and never your own.
Set aside one night, and talk about your own year for once.
Six of the questions in the worksheet, in order.
The first four you answer apart, then share. The last two you answer together.
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Looking Back
Where was this year heavy, frustrating, or stretching—and what did it reveal?
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The Season of Our Marriage
In a few words, how would we describe the season our marriage has been in?
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Patterns & Tensions
What patterns or rhythms kept showing up in our marriage?
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Strengths & Growth Edges
Where does our marriage feel stretched or unfinished right now?
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Vision Casting
What do we hope life looks like in 5 years?
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Immediate Next Steps
What are 2–3 concrete actions we’ll take in the next 30 days?
In between: the rest of the looking back, the dreaming, and the calendar pages where the year gets booked. All in the worksheet.
Get the whole worksheet free.
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How to plan your retreat
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Book the night.
A hotel, a friend’s lake house, or the kitchen table after bedtime. Get it on the calendar first. Everything else follows.
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Work the worksheet.
Thirty to sixty minutes apart on the reflection pages, then together on the rest. Look back, then dream, then decide.
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Leave with your next thirty days.
Two or three concrete actions, dated. And your next check-in on the calendar before you check out.
An overnight if you can get one. A few hours at home if you can’t. Once a year, on purpose.
How we do it
Melissa and I have done a version of this every year since 2019. We grab a babysitter, get a night away, and spread it over two days. Nothing about it is fancy.
We look back first, at what worked, what didn’t, where the year was heavy. Then we dream a little, which is the part that should actually be fun. And then we get practical, because if the trips and the date nights don’t make it onto the calendar, they just don’t happen.
Every time, we walk away more known and more understood. Every time.
Coffee in the morning, wine at night. There’s no perfect way to do it.
What couples tell us
We haven’t had a real conversation about us since the wedding.
I know what he wants for the business. I don’t know what he wants for us.
We keep saying we’ll do a trip, and then it’s December.
I’m not sure we’d agree on what this year even was.
What you walk away with
You know what this year was, and you agree about it.
Each kid’s one-on-one has a date next to it.
You’ve said the hard thing out loud without it turning into a fight.
You both know what the other one is hoping for.
Next December you’ll either be looking back on this year together, or wondering where it went.